Reverse
by Pumpkin Zucchini
Summary: From Aoihand's Multiverse challenge. And the chaos commences!


From Aoihand's AU Multiverse Challenge thingy. It sounded too good to pass up on. :3  
So it's basically a bunch of what-if scenarios... does that count?

* * *

1) What if Nami had Robin's DF powers?

"It's been a great night." Nami grinned. Several arms behind her produced dozens of wallets she had been holding securely against her back, hidden by a cloak. She dumped them all onto her bed. "It's easiest when they're drunk. I think I got... damn! Thirty seven!~"

"Should you be really abusing your powers like that?" Robin asked, polishing the Clima-tact.

"What? I'm just making the most of it." Nami shrugged.

"I can still teach you how to snap peoples' necks." Robin offered.

"Um, I'll pass on that."

2) What if Nami and Robin loved Sanji, but Sanji wasn't interested in them?

"Sanji-kyun!~" Nami twirled over to the chef, squealing out the nickname she had made up for him. "Do you need any help?~"

"No thank you, Nami." Sanji politely said, trying not to grit his teeth. It wasn't that he _hated _the constant affection, but it sometimes grated against his patience.

"Move aside, slut." Robin approached from behind and pushed Nami away. She murmured something in a low voice to Sanji that made him gulp uncomfortably and pull at his collar, which all of the sudden seemed _much_ too stifling.

"_I'm _the slut?! Oh, it's on, bitch!" Nami tackled Robin to the ground.

"Get off, whore!"

"Make me, skank!"

Sanji sighed and cradled his head in his hand. As much as he loved his nakama, they were _just _nakama. Unfortunately, the two resident women spent most of the days fighting over Sanji's affection no matter how many times he tried to tell them that he simply wasn't interested in a relationship at the moment.

"Sanji-kyun loves me best!"

"Says the PMSing fatass."

"You did _not _just say that, you bitch!"

And Sanji continued cooking lunch while the two women wrestled and shouted insults to each other behind him, competing for his love.

3) What if Usopp really was captain of the ship?

Considering the name of the crew, the _Straw Hat _Pirates, one would assume that the captain would be the rubber boy with the straw hat.

Not so.

No one knew why, or how, or when, but the true captain was in fact the cowardly long nosed sniper who preferred long distance combat to hand-to-hand battles. Even though he was the captain, the rest of the crew hardly followed orders and instead chose to go about their own ways, occassionally heeding the angry shouts of the navigator (who was said to hold more power and authority than the captain himself).

"There's some old ruins on the next island that's said to hold an ancient treasure." Robin said one day, examining a map that Zoro had found in the last town they visited.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Luffy said eagerly, his eyes sparkling.

"Wait a minute, what _kind _of ruins?" Usopp asked suspiciously.

"Well, all I know is that there's an intricate system of traps and-"

"Okay, we're not going." Usopp said.

"Awwww! Come on, Usopp!" Luffy whined.

"No. Captain's orders, we are _not _going to that island." Usopp shook his head.

Nonetheless, they sailed for the ruins anyways, completely defying the Great Captain Usopp's commands.

4) What if Franky was a woman?

"I am feeling SUPER this week!" Franky declared, sitting up in bed.

"Time of the month's finally over?" Nami groggily asked, half-asleep.

"Yup!" Franky cheerfully said. She pulled on an open blouse and went outside. Chopper, Luffy and Usopp were playing on the slide. "Oi! Usopp! You wanna finish the Battle Franky-Usopp Cannon later today?"

"S-sure!" Usopp replied. No matter how many times he saw Franky, he could never get used to the fact that she wore _only _a bikini bottom and blouse that she never buttoned up. Luffy and Chopper, on the other hand, thought nothing of it at all.

"Dammit, woman! Put on a freaking bra or something!" Zoro roared from the upper deck.

"Make me, bastard!" Franky stuck out her tongue and struck a pose, showing off a little bit too much skin (not that she felt uncomfortable, or anything). Zoro huffed and turned away.

"Yohohoho! Your panties are looking as lovely as ever, Miss Franky!" Brook said, passing by.

"IT'S A BIKINI, DAMMIT!" Franky shouted.

"Franky-chwaaan! Cola for the topless beauty?" Sanji offered a fresh bottle of cola to the cyborg, who accepted it happily. After several weeks of having Franky on board, Sanji's constant nosebleeding finally stopped (though sometimes there would be a leak or two).

"Thanks, Sanji-bro!" Franky grinned, patting the man on the back. She went over to sit beside Robin below an umbrella, who was watching the three boys play.

"Still no bra, Franky-chan?" Robin asked, glancing at Franky from the corner of her eyes.

"Psh. You know that all bras do is restrain. You really should follow my example and go _free_, Robin-sis." Franky said, stretching her arms out to bare her womanlyness to the sky.

"I'll keep that in mind."

5) What if Zoro actually gave a damn?

"There's going to be a storm soon." Nami said, a tad worried. She looked up at the sky.

"OH CRAP! READY THE BATTLEMENTS! GET THE TARPS! PREPARE FOR-"

"Shut up, Zoro! It's not _that _big of a deal!" Nami said irritatedly. Zoro's overreactions to everything got on everyone's nerves.

A few feet away, Robin winced from a papercut.

"CHOPPER! CHOPPER! SHIT, ROBIN'S BLEEDING! HURRY!" Zoro shouted frantically.

"I'm fine, Swordsman-san." Robin said, pressing a napkin to the shallow cut.

"Oh, okay." Zoro wandered off. He went to the kitchen where Sanji was cleaning out the sink.

"Shitty rubber. I _told _him the garbage disposal can't take scrap metal!" Sanji muttered angrily.

"THE PLUMBING! THE PLUMBING IS GOING TO FAIL! OH SHIT! THE TOILETS! HOW WILL WE-"

"Shut up, marimo!" Sanji threw his towel down. "Will you stop freaking out over every single shitty thing?!"

"At least I _care _about our nakama, shit-cook." Zoro scowled, crossing his arms.

"Hey, do we have any cola?" Franky asked, his hair drooping over. "Because I can't find any in the storage room and-"

"SHIT! NO COLA?! HOW'LL WE DO A COUP DE BURST IF THERE'S A MARINE SHIP?? NO COLA?!?"

"What, there's no cola left?!" Franky asked in alarm.

"He's just overreacting, Franky." Sanji sighed. Franky paused and nodded as Zoro began to panic.


End file.
